Mar 15 2015
Knowing how to read it but not how to speak it
sometimes feels worse than not knowing how to read it at all.
Sunday, October 15, 2017
Saturday, October 14, 2017
YOU SUCK
APR 8 2015 2
If you think I laugh too much, it's not true. It IS true that I laugh at all jokes. That's because there is something funny to be found in all jokes. Perhaps you actually told a good joke. Then I laughed spontaneously. That's best; good job!
Maybe your joke wasn't good, but seeing as it was a joke, it should've been. Therefore, I laugh at you for thinking that a shitty joke would work.
If you think I laugh too much, it's not true. It IS true that I laugh at all jokes. That's because there is something funny to be found in all jokes. Perhaps you actually told a good joke. Then I laughed spontaneously. That's best; good job!
Maybe your joke wasn't good, but seeing as it was a joke, it should've been. Therefore, I laugh at you for thinking that a shitty joke would work.
Monday, October 9, 2017
Be Being Been
JUL 27 2017
I'm SLOW and INEFFECTIVE at generating things because I believe that "I can't BE there unless I've already BEEN"
In other words, it's my mantra - "it can only be found by those who already know where it is" - being applied onto myself, destructively!
Of course I KNOW the whole being-->doing-->having method of things. Yet I constantly believe that I must have ALREADY BEEN somewhere to be valid in pursuing being there (what moronism)!
How did I get into motorcycles? I just joined the class and I bought one. Boom! Now I'm a biker, because I ride a bike.
How did I get into swinging? I just attended events. I mentioned that it was an interest to girls I was into, I got onto SLS, I said yes to the opportunities that existed. How did I get to make furniture? I just made it. How did I get to be an acid head? I just took acid. The doors were all open. It was merely my prerogative to walk through them, but for some weird reason that's the part we humans find difficult.
So how do I get to be an artist? Just make art.
How do I get to be a lover? Just love.
How do I get to be a fit muscle man? I just exercise regularly and eat well.
How do I get to be sexy? I just be sexy.
How do I get to be rich? I just make money. I find things others value but aren't doing, and I do them.
How do I get to be a leader? I just lead.
How do I get to have fun? I just enjoy doing stuff, and pick fun things to do.
Note the shift from 'be' to 'have' on the last question there, is there anything worth exploring in that?
How do I get to have my dream house? Just build it, get the people needed to do so.
How do I get to have the life I want? Just be the person who'd have that kind of life.
What's bigger than pornstar, or The Pleasure Man, since those haven't been drawing me forward. The Maestro's part of it, so is the Powerful Man, but they're not there just yet...what's the magical thing that'll go DING and make EVERY LAST THING from the past disappear, leaving ONLY the beingness of this supermaster present.
What do I REALLY want? Who do I REALLY want to be? That would have the self-respect to pull off anything and everything I desire, no stoppages or excuses or shortcomings or justifications for why I don't have it. I'm talking that Mad Max, Don Draper, Baron Flambeaux, Cary Grant, hard-rocking, brilliant, sexy, art-shitting, OUT THERE rockstar who just burns the world to the ground with his very gaze?! The kind of guy who'd set sights on a girl and ultimately get her to a choice about him, and satisfied with her choice, but nonetheless having made it....rather than quiet in the corner, HOPEFUL (god what a vile word!).
The guy who's got a big, shit-eating grin on, whose Miami-neon swim shorts ripple in the wind while he holds open the throttle on a cigarette boat loaded with acid and amplifiers bound for some atoll off the coast with guys & girls of highest caliber. He doesn't need to be the best..because they're all the best. He's a god, yet he's among gods. And he pulls others toward godliness. He understands other perspectives but does not adopt them. He is the Lizard King, and his presence throbs with a gentle, torquey unshakability. Others may lob what they have at him...their cheers or their jeers, their tomatoes, their empty bottles at the back of his head, their roses & soaked lace knickers, their condescending tones & disapproving looks, their mind tricks, their delusions, their awe-struck compliments, every mechanism they have, and he shall not be deterred from his course. For he knows it, and it is true, and true to it he stays with an authenticity purer than hydrogen. There is only one sin: doubt.
He is.
I am.
"I am," he declared, and thus it was law in the universe.
I'm SLOW and INEFFECTIVE at generating things because I believe that "I can't BE there unless I've already BEEN"
In other words, it's my mantra - "it can only be found by those who already know where it is" - being applied onto myself, destructively!
Of course I KNOW the whole being-->doing-->having method of things. Yet I constantly believe that I must have ALREADY BEEN somewhere to be valid in pursuing being there (what moronism)!
How did I get into motorcycles? I just joined the class and I bought one. Boom! Now I'm a biker, because I ride a bike.
How did I get into swinging? I just attended events. I mentioned that it was an interest to girls I was into, I got onto SLS, I said yes to the opportunities that existed. How did I get to make furniture? I just made it. How did I get to be an acid head? I just took acid. The doors were all open. It was merely my prerogative to walk through them, but for some weird reason that's the part we humans find difficult.
So how do I get to be an artist? Just make art.
How do I get to be a lover? Just love.
How do I get to be a fit muscle man? I just exercise regularly and eat well.
How do I get to be sexy? I just be sexy.
How do I get to be rich? I just make money. I find things others value but aren't doing, and I do them.
How do I get to be a leader? I just lead.
How do I get to have fun? I just enjoy doing stuff, and pick fun things to do.
Note the shift from 'be' to 'have' on the last question there, is there anything worth exploring in that?
How do I get to have my dream house? Just build it, get the people needed to do so.
How do I get to have the life I want? Just be the person who'd have that kind of life.
What's bigger than pornstar, or The Pleasure Man, since those haven't been drawing me forward. The Maestro's part of it, so is the Powerful Man, but they're not there just yet...what's the magical thing that'll go DING and make EVERY LAST THING from the past disappear, leaving ONLY the beingness of this supermaster present.
What do I REALLY want? Who do I REALLY want to be? That would have the self-respect to pull off anything and everything I desire, no stoppages or excuses or shortcomings or justifications for why I don't have it. I'm talking that Mad Max, Don Draper, Baron Flambeaux, Cary Grant, hard-rocking, brilliant, sexy, art-shitting, OUT THERE rockstar who just burns the world to the ground with his very gaze?! The kind of guy who'd set sights on a girl and ultimately get her to a choice about him, and satisfied with her choice, but nonetheless having made it....rather than quiet in the corner, HOPEFUL (god what a vile word!).
The guy who's got a big, shit-eating grin on, whose Miami-neon swim shorts ripple in the wind while he holds open the throttle on a cigarette boat loaded with acid and amplifiers bound for some atoll off the coast with guys & girls of highest caliber. He doesn't need to be the best..because they're all the best. He's a god, yet he's among gods. And he pulls others toward godliness. He understands other perspectives but does not adopt them. He is the Lizard King, and his presence throbs with a gentle, torquey unshakability. Others may lob what they have at him...their cheers or their jeers, their tomatoes, their empty bottles at the back of his head, their roses & soaked lace knickers, their condescending tones & disapproving looks, their mind tricks, their delusions, their awe-struck compliments, every mechanism they have, and he shall not be deterred from his course. For he knows it, and it is true, and true to it he stays with an authenticity purer than hydrogen. There is only one sin: doubt.
He is.
I am.
"I am," he declared, and thus it was law in the universe.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Tales from the Intersection
I sat there, at the helm of the machine, rumbling & grumbling in the misty night, waiting for my turn at the intersection, as the motor throbbed in anticipation. I strained and in the distance I could hear the echoes of Spitfire pilots over the Channel. A pink cigarette died in the ashtray.
The red light disappeared and with nothing more than the slight twist of a small metal plate the beast came alive, all sound and fury and chrome and hot leather.
The smell of female had suffused the cabin, born of the soaked upholstery, but presently it fought off the invading scent of premium gasoline.
I howled down the boulevard, a blue streak, fully possessed of the moment. It was all rich, clean energy, and it reeked of a man dealing with reality on its truest terms, namely: no terms at all.
The red light disappeared and with nothing more than the slight twist of a small metal plate the beast came alive, all sound and fury and chrome and hot leather.
The smell of female had suffused the cabin, born of the soaked upholstery, but presently it fought off the invading scent of premium gasoline.
I howled down the boulevard, a blue streak, fully possessed of the moment. It was all rich, clean energy, and it reeked of a man dealing with reality on its truest terms, namely: no terms at all.
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