April 26 2015
Wicked deja vu.
As soon as the song I'd never heard before started I realized this was it, the thought I was about to have was going to happen...I knew it was one I liked, ultimately, so I awaited it eagerly. I'd just have to hold on a few seconds to find out what it was. I stared at the computer screen, with Photoshop open, working on an image I rather liked that no one I knew would ever see, because they knew my Bruce Wayne. But Batman was crafting this image.
Then I heard the voice speak.
"Everyone's some character to someone" the voice said, "you think you're a real bad ass, don't you?"
Of course I thought that. I've learned now not to bullshit myself, and only to traffic in the truth. Just because it aggrandized my ego doesn't mean I should deny it.
"But everything's relative. Sure you're hot shit to some folks you know, but what if you're the 'gay best friend' to that chick that's your best friend?"
"Who cares," I told the voice.
"You know you'd bang her. Wouldn't you?" He retorted, trying to hold any position he had left.
Even he doubted himself now. The days had been getting brighter for me, but I'll admit, actually seeing him get weak was a special breakthrough.
"Yeah I would, but there's a vast difference between will and desire."
The voice just stared at me angrily. It was the only option he had left. He'd exhausted all rational arguments and I'd defeated them; he was reduced to moralizing. How pathetic.
"I'm not really seeing the problem with being gay, or a friend, and I'm definitely not seeing the problem with being the best."
I tossed the statement to him the way you might to a roommate when you're reading the paper and he asks you for the weather prediction but you're actually paying attention to a different article on the same page.
The voice yelled, "Fuck you you louse!" but I'd already taken another swig of tequila, and I couldn't hear him over the agave tsunami coursing 'round my tongue.
It's Sunday. I wonder what'll be on the radio later.
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